Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Lesbians

I guess the thing that has me wondering now is lesbians. Not the type most guys fantasize about, i.e. 2 swimsuit models going at it on a beach in the tropics, but the other end of the lesbian spectrum. The ones that try to look as little like women as possible, the ones with the crew-cut, the ones with the plaid flannel shirt, the ones with the work boots, the ones that put a y in their name...womyn.... so this way they don't have any man associated with them, and the ones with a deep desire to see all men dead. The ones that most guys don't fantasize about, and if you are the type of guy who fantasizes about this second group............................well lets just leave it at that, these are the ones that have me wondering. I find a hypocrisy in their way of dressing, or the lack of dresses thereof, a contradiction if you will.

Here it is, why if these lesbians hate men, do they try to emulate men as much as possible? Again this sector of the lesbian universe generally hates men but they try to look likeas much like men as possible. Am I the only one who finds this puzzling? This action seems a bit contrary. If one hates men, the logical course of action would be to put as much distance between ones self and anything masculine as possible. In effect become the most feminine person possible, eschew anything related to men, crew-cuts..... nope, plaid flannel shirts....nope, work boots all lthe time..... nope, still hate men..... yep. You get the general idea, anything related to the Y chromosome is bad, it is to be repelled, cast into the blazes of Hades.........exiled forever !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Never to be seen again save for a faded and distant memory.

But no.

This is not the way.....the opposite is true..... the maleness, it is celebrated, it is integrated, it is finally fused into the culture of this segment of the lesbian world. It becomes part of the lesbian landscape. Why? I don't know....but perhaps the answer was given to me by a friend.....who said "They are the chicks so ugly no guy would touch them."

Until next time.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

P=NP Finally Proven

One of the most perplexing and enduring mathematical problems of the modern area has been in the area of proving the equivalence of Polynomial(P) time algorithms to Nondeterministic-polynomial(NP) Time algorithms, or more concisely P=NP. Many a great mind hath undertaken this epic journey through the proverbial landscape of mathematics, and failed. But lo and behold I have made this journey unscathed I have reached the promised land. I am victorious !!!! And here is the map I hath made for all of mankind to navigate this new land of P=NP, the proof if you will. There are two cases in this proof.

Case 1:

Let N=1
so P=1P
ergo P=P

Case 2:

Let P=0
ergo 0=N0
0=0
Therefore it has been proven that P=NP. Please feel free to comment on my proof.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

So I have a blog now ..... what the heck am I supposed to do ?

Oh ya write stuff that is insightful, poignant, witty and entertaining....hmmmm lemmie think about that ..................uhhhh ........no.

Spew mindless clap-trap hiter and yon?........................yes

Well here we go .. time to take the plunge.

My main impetus for creating this speck of computer dust in the Internet Universe is a documentary I just finished watching on A and E entitled "Zen and the Art of Competitive Eating". The subject of said flick is one Crazy Legs Conti, a one time entertainement industry employee, he got tired of the 14-18 hour days, who appears adrift in the sea of life, bouncing around from job to job with no real mission. That is until one day he eats......oysters.......not just one or two or ten dozen for that matter, no, Crazy Legs eats an astounding 32 dozen oysters, ... yes you read right 32 dozen oysters in one night. It is from this humble springboard that Crazy Legs launches himself into the world of competitive eating. We are privy to the mental and physical rigors that a competitve eater must master as he journeys from amateur eater to professional eater. The climax of the movie is Crazy Legs appearance at the World International Federation of Competitive Eating's (IFOCE), web site www.ifoce.com, Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog-Eating Contest on Coney Island. Regretably Crazy Legs does not win said contest, he does set a personal best of eating 14 hot dogs in 12 minutes, Takeru Kobayashi of Japan is the victor , eating a mind numbing and gut busting 50.5 hotdogs, buns included, over the same 12 minutes. I'm sorry that is just plain revolting. After this we learn that Crazy Legs' newfound profession is ... well eating, he is set to travel the world eating a wild array of items, check of the IFOCE web site for the world records. Now he has purpose, now his life has meaning........

The thing that stuck me about this movie was the idea that even though few of us will ever win a major professional sporting championship, if you were given the chance to become one of the best eaters in the world, and were able to make a living at it, would you do it ? Would you eat for your living? I was amazed at the dedication that Crazy Legs had to his craft, the analysis of technique, the mental preparation and the accounting for different foods, and so on...... for some reason it just struck me. I guess I was mostly amazed by how almost anyone can go from a "normal" job and "normal" life into a new world and a new life , one that is removed from the traditional ideas, one that is outside the normals of society, and more importantly one that makes oneself happy. And how easy this transition can be.

Crazy Legs Conti, I salute you.